My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
