she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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