I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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