I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
