We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
