would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
