Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
