So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
