can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
