I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
