I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
