like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
