girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want her autograph on my taint
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
