beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
