do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
