He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
