everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize