Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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