How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You took a bar mat shot.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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