physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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