3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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