Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
