they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Terrible idea I love it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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