You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
