You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize