Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
