he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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