is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
