You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
