how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
