Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize