grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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