She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
