I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
