My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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