the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she pinky promised me she was 18
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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