the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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