this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
