so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
