If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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