Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
