And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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