someone threw a dead crab at me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
