this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
