i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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