Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
