I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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