sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
