Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize