I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
