What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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