Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
