there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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