What a fucking waste of an outfit
id be glad to
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
