i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize