He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
