the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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