You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just invented taco cereal.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What a dumb baby whore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
