the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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