I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
