so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
